I am Home
I have been on leave.
We all have things that we're pulled towards, and I've been away from mine.
I have taken some time to do some serious searching as to what is my true calling, what it is that I can't NOT talk about, that I can't NOT come back to, and for me, it has always been being strong.
But I have been away, learning new trades, gathering information, like an explorer out in the world to rediscover themselves and new territory as one in the same, to learn to view the world a bit differently, through a lens of diversity and awe, and that marvels on the size and vast expanse of the world before them.
I left the small pocket where I was comfortable, where if you weren't squatting and sprinting you were wrong, where anything under an 80% effort max lift wasn't worth your time, where injuries were worked around and ignored, and no one has time for mobility.
I explored first moving my own body, discovering that there are ways that this machine I call a body cannot yet function in, tasks so simple like pressing up in a pushup with a single arm, or traveling across the floor on all fours in certain patterns.
Then I added some resistance, to challenge these new positions, the kettle bell served to allow me to keep each limb as functioning independent from the others, creating a new pattern of stabilization with in a body I though had been rock solid.
I learned and explored how to control a ballistic weight traveling by sheer momentum around my body, and follow the pattern and flow and listen to the small nuances of change in each muscle as it reacted in real time to the change in weight pull.
Then I applied these as I started to slowly add back in the big compound lifts that had been the staple, the rock, the thing I cannot stop coming back to.
I am home.
I start my sessions by moving my body in every way it is capable, mobilizing joints.
Then I implement warmups that challenge new patterns, wake up muscles, ask my body to use small stabilizers previously forgotten.
I lift, I push weight, but I stay controlled. I do what I was programmed to do, I tense, stabilize, bang weights, grunt, and move more and more until my body tells me that If I continue I will very ever so slightly from where I intend to be, and I stop before form breaks.
Although the heavy weight is my mainstay, I still move between sets, I stay explosive, nimble, jumping, moving, crawling, using my body.
I will bring my new friends to the party, and allow the kettle bell and body weight work to supplement, and maybe toe the line of my physical capacity for the day and challenge my mental fortitude with a circuit of sleds or odd objects, letting loose the primal mover.
I'll end on a not of vanity, because I love the feeling of the pump, the curls, the feeling of being jacked, strong, capable, and done with a session.
And I am home.
My journey showed me ways to be sure I can continue to travel, it shone a new light on perspectives about strength that are no longer limiting to numbers on a bar, but to my abilities to be capable every day, at every moment, not only within the bounds to which I had set before, but in any walk of life, in any capacity, and for any reason.
I will always come back to the things i can't stop mentioning, and that is being strong in life. I may find new ways, smarter ways, creative ways, and safer ways to implement, but I will always be a strength athlete, and now i can stay whole, unbroken, and strong for life.